


The Tale of the Sea Cucumber

by vivi1138



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Beach House, Don't add to Goodreads, Don't copy to another site, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Smut, sea creatures - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-21
Updated: 2020-05-21
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:47:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24303883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vivi1138/pseuds/vivi1138
Summary: Scorpius loves learning about sea creatures; when he asks his father for information about sea cucumbers, Draco enlists the help of the Boy-Who-Lived. They uncover a series of disturbing facts and attempt to preserve the romantic nature of their evening together.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Comments: 21
Kudos: 164





	The Tale of the Sea Cucumber

**Author's Note:**

  * For [gnarf](https://archiveofourown.org/users/gnarf/gifts).



> Thanks [Ineharnia](https://ineharnia.tumblr.com) for being my beta!  
> \-----  
> I’m gifting this fic to [gnarf](https://archiveofourown.org/users/gnarf/pseuds/gnarf) , who introduced me to the wonders of the Seegurke song by the German band Wizo (I'll never recover) and drew an adorable penguin Patronus for me. This fic is also dedicated to the Discord squad, for the conversation that led to the birth of this silly story.  
> \-----  
>  _Disclaimer: I own nothing but the idea behind this fic. The rest belongs to J.K.Rowling._

Draco tucked his son into bed, brushing his soft strands of hair away from his forehead and pressing a kiss to the tip of his nose. Then he leaned back, turned on the lighthouse lamp on the bedside table and flicked his wand to close the curtains. 

Big grey eyes stared up at him. “Daddy, I’m not sleepy.”

“Oh?” Draco tilted his head. “I’m afraid stories are only acceptable when little boys are going to sleep.”

With a gasp, Scorpius wiggled under his dark blue quilt. The goofy narwhals embroidered in the fabric swam faster. They gathered at the foot of the bed, reminding Draco that he still needed to figure out if real narwhals had been created by an insane Unspeakable after one too many drinks. Sea creatures often rendered him speechless, when they didn’t visit him in his nightmares (honestly, screw the goblin shark). He blamed his son, who had two passions: his Legos and the sea. Draco had been telling him bedtime stories about princesses and dragons, revisiting his favourite tales, until Scorpius started asking questions about sea creatures. At first, Draco had been delighted to educate his precious little boy, roaming libraries and bookshops to find child-friendly material about plimpies, grindylows and selkies. Still, as Draco ran out of magical creatures, Scorpius pressed on, requesting details about ordinary water-dwelling beasts. In Draco’s opinion, there was nothing ordinary about the vampire squid.

Satisfied by Scorpius’ sudden determination to stay in bed, he smiled and sat on the armchair at his side. “All right, which incredible animal shall we talk about tonight?” he asked, stroking Scorpius’ hand.

The child scrunched up his nose, frowned, and sucked in a deep breath. “Cucumbers!”

“I’m sorry?”

“Teddy says they live in the sea.”

Draco’s initial reflex was to correct the falsehood. “Scorp, cucumbers are vegetables. Don’t you remember picking them up from Grandma’s garden?”

“Maybe they can swim!”

“I don’t think—”

“You say you don’t know everything. Maybe you don’t know about cucumbers.”

Biting his lower lip to prevent himself from chuckling, Draco nodded, in awe of Scorpius’ wisdom. Draco didn’t always feel pride in his past actions; truth be told, most of the events of his teenage years brought him nothing but shame. But his son? His baby boy was his greatest achievement, and having raised him so well must mean that Draco wasn’t that much of a failure after all. 

“Will you let me find out?” he asked, and Scorpius nodded with enthusiasm. “Great! So, for tonight, do you have anything else?”

“The spiky ball. Uncle Blaise says it hurts real bad if you walk on it.”

“Very well, little man. A sea urchin can dig holes in rocks to hide from their predators—”

When Scorpius fell asleep, Draco turned off the lamp and left the room, closing the door behind him and walking to the kitchen on the ground floor. He enjoyed these peaceful moments where he could sit alone in the sunroom facing the ocean with a cup of tea in his hand. While the water boiled, he peeked into the cold cupboard where he stored a wide array of vegetables under a stasis charm, staring a little too long at the cucumbers. Where did Teddy get these ideas? There was only one way to answer this question. With his tea ready, he slipped into his living room and threw a handful of Floo powder into the hearth.

“Malfoy, what do you want?”

Merlin, Potter’s hair looked messier than ever, and Draco wanted to pull on it. He cleared his throat. “Good evening to you too, Potty. I have a mystery to solve.”

Potter glanced away from him, nodded at someone Draco couldn’t see, then looked back at him with a crooked smile. “Ron says you need to fuck off. So, what’s up?”

Aah, the Weasel and his eternal grudges. If Draco cared, he’d hide his and Potter’s relationship from him forever to avoid a mental breakdown—but Draco didn’t mind burdening him with that knowledge. As they neared their one-year anniversary, keeping such a secret was becoming bothersome. “I can’t believe I’m about to ask that question, but what do you know about cucumbers?”

With a snort, Harry blinked in disbelief. “They’re long and green? Edible?”

“Yeees,” Draco drawled, “but Scorp seems quite convinced of their swimming capabilities and wants a series of bedtime facts on them.”

“Do you mean sea cucumbers?”

Draco’s left eye twitched. “What?” He pictured a vegetable garden between coral reefs. What else was there, sea turnips?

“Okay, I’ll find you something.” Harry winked, his smile widening. “If Astoria or your mum agrees to watch Scorp, I’ll book a Portkey for Friday night. We can discuss those sea cucumbers then.”

#

Harry brought him red orchids in a stone vase, and Draco fell in love with him all over again. After such a thoughtful gesture, he couldn’t believe their priority was to talk about some obscure marine creature instead of enjoying their summer night under the starry sky of Brittany. They ate a light meal on the terrace, watching the beach grow wider as the tide receded. When the moon rose, Harry smiled and pointed at each little bat flying above their heads, and Draco admired the way his eyes shone. There was little left of the scrawny kid who fought the Dark Lord; Harry Potter, trainer for the Auror department, looked incredible with his toned body, short beard and messy bun—longer hair suited him; Draco loved those untameable spikes and loose curls. His thoughts drifted to the way those curls felt between his fingers, and his cock twitched, so he drank the last drops of wine in his glass and stood up. 

“So eager to hear what I found out?” Harry asked, grabbing his hand and following him inside. The empty plates and glasses on the table vanished; Mopsy, Draco’s favourite elf, was shy and rarely showed herself. 

In the living room, candles had been lit, and Draco groaned. “Someone misread the mood.”

“Trust me Draco, sea cucumbers aren’t fascinating enough for a long discussion.”

They sat on the teal sofa, and Draco pushed a cushion aside, wrapping an arm around Harry’s waist and nuzzling his neck. Harry laughed, tilted Draco’s chin up and gave him a chaste kiss.

“I suggest we get those creatures out of the way first.”

Exhaling loudly, Draco agreed. It was all Teddy’s fault. Why did he share Scorpius’ fascination with animals, honestly? 

Harry summoned his bag, reached inside and pulled out a pile of resized books and a stack of Muggle pieces of paper. A muttered Engorgio gave them their original size back, and Harry handed him the thickest volume. 

“Let me guess: Granger helped,” Draco said, flipping through the pages and glancing at the colourful pictures of starfish and sea lilies. “Okay, so, invertebrates. Got it. Not sure what I expected.” He found the relevant page and his eyebrows rose. “What the—how do I make these things child-friendly?”

“Mh?”

Turning the book slightly, he gestured at the picture of a rather phallic creature. “Look at it!”

Harry grinned and showed him another book. On the double-page, some of the cucumbers had spikes. “I’m pretty sure I saw those in a sex shop before. _Pineapple sea cucumber_. Not confusing at all.”

“That thing looks nothing like a fruit.” Draco squinted at it. “Not even if a cucumber mated with a pineapple. What is wrong with Muggle scientists? Imagine if Scorpius had developed an interest in them when he was younger. The confusion would be traumatic!” He’d chosen not to introduce him to the platypus for this very reason. A sentence caught his eye, and he leaned forward, pushing Harry’s hand away from the page. “What do you mean they have lungs inside their—they breathe through—no.” He crossed his arms on his chest, and Harry snorted. “You’re having me on,” Draco insisted. “You’ve Charmed those books.”

“I promise I didn’t.” With a sniff, Potter read the same sentence as Draco, bit his lip, turned the page, and stared at the paper. Then he threw his head back and laughed loudly, startling Draco, who grabbed the stack of paper. Harry let it go, now grasping Draco’s thigh and seeming unable to calm down. 

Draco rolled his eyes. “I don’t see what’s so funny.”

Harry’s laughter worsened, veering towards hysteria as tears streamed down his face. Draco could feel the telltale signs of his own incoming hilarity in the way his chest spasmed, but he wanted to have the full experience and decided to read on. 

“ _They violently contract their muscles and jettison some of their internal organs out of their anus_. Hm, innovative.” 

“No!” Harry gasped for breath. “Draco, not that one, the one below!” He dissolved into laughter once more. 

“ _Several species of parasitic pearlfish actually live inside sea cucumber bums. After smelling their way to an ideal host, the pearlfish swims head-first into the void_ —what the fuck, Potter?— _They’re unsung heroes of_ —you know what?” He threw the stack of paper on the other sofa and looked at his boyfriend, who was wiping away his tears and grinning, still shaking, eyes shiny. Merlin, he was so attractive. “I can’t do it. I can’t tell a five-year-old about a phallic creature that breathes through its arse and expect him to sleep afterwards.” 

Harry levitated the books away and scooted closer, tracing shapes on the fabric of Draco’s shirt, still breathless. Thanks to Draco’s Occlumency skills, putting aside all thoughts of sea cucumbers was a smooth process, and he drank in Potter’s features before sliding a hand through his hair and pulling him closer. Harry stole a kiss from him, then another—longer, harsher—and straddled him, grabbing his face and deepening the kiss. 

Draco’s hands travelled down Harry’s back, dipping below the waistband of his jeans; when he felt Harry fingers around his cock, Draco moaned and arched his back, tightening his hold on the soft flesh of Harry’s arse, the tip of his middle finger teasing Harry enough to make each of his strokes shaky. Biting and sucking on Potter’s neck, Draco sneaked one hand between them to release his partner’s cock and pressed it against his, his palm joining Potter’s in a frantic rhythm. 

When they came down from the high, Potter glanced at their hands. “You know, cum looks a bit like a sea cucumber’s innards.”

Draco shuddered and pushed him away, tucking himself back into his pants. “You’re the worst!” Then, he remembered the first picture he saw. “I wonder if Transfiguring your—”

“Draco, if you finish that sentence, I’m divorcing you.”

“You started it. And we’re not married.”

“Yet.”

“Are you—Potter, that’s the most fucked up proposal—” 

“So?”

Draco looked at him, helpless, in the oddest state of mind he’d ever been in. His head was blank, yet he was aware of a myriad of muted emotions threatening to burst out of him. It shouldn’t have happened this way! Scarhead should’ve asked him during a romantic walk on the beach, with an expensive ring and mind-blowing sex. Not here in Draco’s living room after some nonsensical research and a handjob. But the orchids were beautiful, and Harry had brought so much material so that Draco could tell Scorpius about sea cucumbers, just because he cared... They did have their romantic dinner under the stars, and the beach was right on Draco’s doorstep, and they’d laughed so much—Merlin, it was such a Gryffindor move. And Draco heard himself respond before he could even realise it. “Yes, I’ll marry you, you nutter.” He took a few steps forward and kissed him, then smiled, melting at the pure joy in Harry’s eyes. As Harry opened his mouth to talk, Draco pressed his fingers on his lips. “On one condition: you tell Scorpius about those butt lungs fiends.”

Potter laughed. “Deal.”

**Author's Note:**

> I can be found on [Tumblr](https://penguinanimagus.tumblr.com/) and [Twitter](https://twitter.com/FuzzyJawa) , come say hi!  
> \-------------  
> References for quotes:  
> [National Geographic](https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/invertebrates/group/sea-cucumbers/)  
> [Nature.org](https://blog.nature.org/science/2018/12/12/the-bizzare-and-disturbing-life-of-sea-cucumber/)


End file.
